


Pissed-Off Goalies Secret Santa

by sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum



Series: Pissed-Off Goalies Club [14]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Christmas Time, Gen, Holidays, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-08 11:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8843353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum/pseuds/sassy_Tuukka_Time_Tantrum
Summary: Carey Price comes up with the idea of doing a Secret Santa type thing with the other members of the Pissed-Off Goalies Club.





	1. Picking Names

Carey Price and the Canadiens were on their way to California for their annual California road-trip, when he had an idea for the pissed off goalies club. “Hey guys, let’s do a secret Santa this year.” He messaged Lundqvist, Rask, Crawford and Fleury, “I figured it’d be a fun thing to do with the holidays coming.” 

“I don’t see why we couldn’t do something like that,” Crawford said, “I’m down for it.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Tuukka responded about a minute later, “We could get Bergy to pick the names for us.”

“Bergy?” Lundqvist responded, “As in Patrice Bergeron?”

“Yeah,” Tuukka responded, “He’s the only non-goalie who knows about our little club. We should have him pick the names so it’ll be completely neutral.”

“Or we could just pick from a hat.” Fleury said, “But asking Bergy is a good idea.” 

“I message him about it now,” Tuukka said.

“Sounds good Tuukks,” Price said, “Get back to us as soon as you can.”

\--

“Hey Bergy,” Tuukka messaged the French Canadian, “I have a favor to ask you.”

“What’s that Tuukks?” Patrice responded a few moments later.

“Well, the pissed-off Goalies club is doing a secret Santa this year and we want to know if you’ll pick the names for us.” Tuukka explained. 

“Okay,” Patrice responded, “It’s you, Carey Price, Marc-Andre Fleury, Corey Crawford, and Henrik Lundqvist right?”

“Yeah,” Tuukka said, “Uh, hold on, I’ll add you to the group chat.” 

“Okay.”

“Hey guys, I’m back and I brought Bergy with me.” Tuukka messaged.

“Alright, I’m gonna put all the names in a hat and decide that way,” Patrice said, “First up we have Fleury and he’s getting Price. Price…you’ve got Tuukks.” Patrice paused for a moment as he rummaged through the hat and smirked, “Tuukka, you’ve got Lundqvist.”

“Oh man Tuukka gets his rivals!” Fleury exclaimed, "He'll get a gift from his NHL rival and he has to give a gift to his national team rival!"

“Lundqvist you’ve got Crawford and Crawford you’ve got Fleury.” Patrice said, “Is there anything else I can do for you guys?”

“Nope,” Price said, “Thanks Bergy.”

“Have a good one guys,” Patrice said, “Good luck with your games.”

“I say we do a little something for Bergy too,” Crawford said once Patrice had left the chat, “What do you guys think? We can all pitch in and get him a little something?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Price said, “Okay, so now let’s set the price limit…”

“I see what you did there,” Fleury said, “But continue.” 

“Let’s say no more than thirty US dollars,” Price said, “Does that sound good to every one?”

“Yeah,” The other four goalies responded.

“But aren’t you in Canada?” Fleury asked.

“We’re on a road-trip and we won’t get back to Montreal until December seventh,” Price said, “So…now the hard part…finding a day to meet up and exchange gifts…from the looks of it there are only two days from now until Christmas Eve when none of us have games. And those two days are December nineteenth and December twenty-first. Unless we meet up on Boxing Day.”

“What’s Boxing day?” Tuukka asked.

“The day after Christmas,” Price responded, “I forgot the US doesn’t observe that holiday.” 

“Boxing Day might be hard,” Fleury said.

“Yeah,” Lundqvist said, “I think I’m in the same boat.” 

“Okay so it’s either the nineteenth or the twenty-first then,” Price said, “It’s either a Monday or a Wednesday and it’s the week before Christmas.”

“I’m leaning towards the Wednesday,” Lundqvist said.

“Yeah same,” Fleury said.

“Either day is good for me,” Crawford said, “So I don’t care.”

“It doesn’t matter to me either,” Tuukka said.

“Okay so we’ll meet up on December twenty-first then,” Price said, “Tuukks, bring Bergy if you can.”

“I’ll try,” Tuukka said, “I’ll see if I can get him to dress up like Santa too.” 

“Alright, I think that does it for today,” Price said, “Talk to you guys soon. Good luck.”

“Yup” Fleury responded.

“Have a good one,” Lundqvist said.

“Talk to you guys later.” Crawford and Tuukka said. 

\--

The following day at the Bruins practice Tuukka stormed up to Patrice, “You did that on purpose.” He exclaimed softly.

“Did what on purpose?” Patrice responded.

“You assigned Lundqvist to me on purpose!” 

“I picked the names out of a hat,” Patrice said, “It was completely random.”

“Suuuuuuure it was,” Tuukka responded sarcastically. 

“Tuukka, you had a one-in-three shot of getting Lundqvist,” Patrice said, “That’s a thirty-three percent chance.” 

“Fine,” Tuukka said as he grabbed a water bottle and squirted Patrice in the face with it, “Whatever you say.” 

Patrice sighed, he deserved that. He was never going to admit that he hadn’t actually picked a name out of the hat for Tuukka. He had never put Lundqvist’s name in the hat to begin with. He wanted to make sure that Tuukka got paired up with Lundqvist for their secret Santa. But now all he had to do was make sure that Tuukka didn’t get the Swedish netminder a gag gift. “You are going to get him something serious right?” He asked the Finn, “No gag gifts?”

“Gag gift huh…?” Tuukka asked with a sly smirk.

“Tuukks…” Patrice warned.

“Of course not,” Tuukka said as he smirked. He still didn’t buy Patrice’s “you were assigned Lundqvist by chance” thing so he spent most of practice flinging the puck in Patrice’s direction as pay-back. Until Goalie Bob (the Bruins goaltending coach) noticed and threatened Tuukka with a “harsh punishment” should he continue. But he did have an idea that he was going to share with the other members as soon as he had the chance. 

\--

Once practice was over and he was back in his car, before driving off he shot the other members of the Pissed-Off Goalies club (save for Bergeron of course) a message that read: “Let’s do gag gifts and serious gifts for fun.” 

And the other four members of the club all responded in agreement.


	2. The Gift Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know this is kinda really late but the holidays were hectic for me...a lot of hours at work, a lot of shopping, and not a whole lot of free time was basically the story of the last three weeks or so. But here it is, the gift exchange.

It was December twenty-first and Carey Price, Marc-Andre Fleury, Corey Crawford and Henrik Lundqvist were sitting around in a secret location waiting for the fifth member of their club, who was running rather late.

“Do you think Tuukka got lost or something?” Fleury asked.

“If he doesn’t show up in five more minutes I’ll call him,” Price responded. 

A few minutes later, the door opened, “Sorry I’m late,” Tuukka said as he entered the room, “I had a hard time convincing Bergy to come.” 

“I don’t understand why you wanted me to dress like this…” Patrice said as he followed Tuukka into the room. He was dressed like Santa, “Or why you wanted me to come in the first place…”

“It was Flower’s idea to make you dress up like that,” Tuukka responded, “Come on Bergy, it’s Christmas.” 

Patrice sighed, “Fine but I’m not gonna buy you the dinner I owe you.”

“That’s fine,” Tuukka said, “I don’t have to buy myself dinner for the next month and a half anyway.” 

“Do…I want to know what’s going on here…?” Fleury asked.

“Tuukka makes us buy him dinner when we screw up,” Patrice said, “He’s got a little notebook he keeps with him to keep track of who owes him dinner. I think a few of us still owe him from last season.” 

“Yup,” Tuukka said as he took a small notebook out of his jacket pocket, “Chara and McQuaid owe me two each and Kevan Miller owes me three.”

“That’s brilliant!” Fleury said, “I’m gonna start doing that too!”

“Can we get to the gift exchange?” Price asked, “We don’t have a whole lot of time. We all have games tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Tuukka said as put the small notebook back in his jacket pocket, “So how do we do this?” Do we have Bergy distribute the gifts or do we give them out ourselves?”

“Let’s have Bergy hand them out,” Fluery said, “He is dressed as Santa after all. Do you mind Patrice?”

“I might as well,” Patrice sighed, “Tuukka, you owe me dinner.” 

“Fine.” Tuukka said as he handed an expertly wrapped present to Patrice.

“You got Lundqvist right?”

“Yes.” 

“Did you wrap this yourself?” Lundqvist asked.

“I did,” Tuukka said, “Jasmiina had her hands full with the girls so I didn’t want to bother her.” 

“I’m impressed,” Lundqvist commented, “Your gifts make the rest of ours look not as nice.” 

“What else is new? That’s Tuukka in a nutshell,” Crawford said, “He makes the rest of us look bad.”

Lundqvist opened the box and laughed as Patrice sighed in disappointment. It was a pair of child-sized figure skates that had been wrapped in a large Finnish flag.

“I saw an interesting picture of you thanks to Jimmy,” Tuukka said, “His brother sent it to him.”

Lundqvist sighed, “The figure skating picture,” He laughed, “Yeah, the guys didn’t let me live that down for a while. Although…” He said as he examined the skates, “These skates might just get some use after all. They’d be just slightly big on my oldest daughter and she’s just starting to be able to skate on her own. Thanks Tuukks. But what about your oldest?”

“Vivien wants “skates like daddy” and threw a major fit when we bought her a pair of pink toddler training skates instead,” Tuukka explained, “I had to explain to her that she has to learn how to skate before she can get skates like mine. It was easier than trying to explain that I’m not going to buy a two year old a pair of custom goalie skates that she'll only outgrow in less than six months.”

“Oh boy,” Lundqivst said, “Thanks Tuukks. I’ll give the flag to Antti.”

“Tell him I said hi,” Tuukka said.

“I will,” Lundqvist said as he handed his gift to Patrice, “This is for Corey.” 

“Thanks Bergy,” Crawford said as he took the gift. When he opened the box he laughed, it was an appendix plushy “Where the hell did you find this?”

“New York City has a lot of interesting little shops,” Lundqvist said, “I heard you had to get your appendix out and happened to come across that the very next day. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling much better,” Crawford said, “I’m cleared to play and I’ll definitely be getting a start before the Christmas break. But that’s freaking hysterical, thank you.”

“No problem.” Henrik responded. 

“This is for Flower,” Crawford said as he handed Patrice one of the gifts in front of him.

“Merci,” Fleury said as he took the gift from Patrice, “Can I smash this?” He said when he opened it, it was a set of Flyers pint glasses.

“I saw those in Philly before I got sick,” Crawford said, “I was drawing a blank and decided why not.”

“At least I won’t have to worry about being upset if Scarlett breaks them,” Fleury said, “She likes to throw things, especially glass things. She’s broken my phone twice.” He picked up a large box, “Patrice, this is for Price.” 

“Thanks Patrice,” Price said as he took the gift and opened it. It was a very large roll of bubble wrap, “I’m not that injury prone!” 

“Well, you did miss nearly all of last season,” Fleury said, “So I figured why not. We all know how important you are to your team. If I had gotten Tuukka, I would have given him some vitamin C tablets and tea and honey or something based on how many times he got sick last season.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Tuukka growled.

“Please don’t remind him,” Patrice said.

“Here,” Price said as he handed a small cylinder to Patrice, “That’s for Tuukka. Get your camera out and record it.”

Patrice raised an eyebrow at Price’s request but obliged.

“Thanks Bergy,” Tuukka said as he took the package from Patrice and opened it, “OH FUCK NO!” He screamed as he took a glance of what was inside it. He grabbed the small can and made a motion like he was about to throw it.

“Don’t you dare,” Lundqvist said as he grabbed Tuukka’s wrist once he realized what was in the can, “If that opens in here it won’t be pleasant.”

“WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THIS!?” Tuukka exclaimed.

“The internet.” 

“What is it?” Fleury asked.

“Surstromming.” Lundqvist responded.

“Oh god,” Fleury gasped, “Are you gonna be okay Tuukks?”

“As long as I don’t have to eat any of it,” Tuukka said, “Been there, done that, and got so sick I couldn’t eat for three days.” 

“You’ve…actually eaten surstomming?” Lundqvist asked, “You’re a much braver man than I am…”

“I was tricked into eating it when I was still playing in Finland,” Tuukka explained, “It was also a fucking year out of date. I got so sick they almost had to take me to a hospital and had me stay with one of our team trainers until I could eat again. They also gave me a good week and a half off to recover. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and probably the sickest I have ever felt in my life.”

“Oh god…” Lundqvist winced, “I can only imagine…” 

“You don’t have to eat any of it and you can throw it out here if you want to,” Price said, “I just wanted to see your reaction.” 

“I wasn’t going to eat any of it anyway,” Tuukka responded, “Not after the first time. Maybe I’ll trick the new Swede on the team into eating some.” 

“Tuukka…” Patrice warned, “Don’t you dare.” 

“Fine, I’ll feed it to the defense instead,” Tuukka said.

Patrice sighed, “You complain about the defense and now you’re planning on feeding them something that could potentially make them sick?” 

“It would definitely make them sick,” Lundqvist said.

“…Yeah…maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea…” Tuukka said. Patrice sighed in relief, “I’ll just wait until the season’s over then.” 

“Tuukka!”

“I was gonna say, most Swedes won’t eat that stuff anyway,” Lundqvist said, “Although, my brother Joel knows a guy who loves the stuff.” 

“Ugh, what is wrong with him?” Tuukka asked.

“The guy who likes it is actually Finnish,” Lundqvist said.

“Let me rephrase that, what the FUCK is WRONG with him?”

“Are we ready for the actual gifts now?” Price asked. The other four nodded. “Patrice you can sit this round out,” Price said. 

Patrice nodded as he watched the five goalies hand out their gifts. He then watched in amusement as they all opened their gifts.

“Are you kidding me?” Fleury exclaimed laughing. 

“Oh my god,” Crawford laughed. 

“I don’t honestly know what’s funnier,” Lundqvist said, “The gag gifts or this.” 

“Just how did we manage this?” Price laughed.

“Did we really get each other the same fucking thing?” Tuukka asked. 

Patrice laughed. The five goalies had indeed managed to get each other the same thing. Each of them had gotten a large coffee mug depicting the city the goalie who had given the mug played in and a Starbucks gift card.

“Tuukka, I wasn’t sure which coffee place you liked better, so I got you a gift card for Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks.” Price said. 

“I like both about the same,” Tuukka said, "Thank you." 

“I kinda did the same thing for you Price,” Fleury said, “Except I got you one for Tim Hortons instead of Dunkin Donuts.” 

“Nice thanks!” Price said, “Tuukks, did you bring it?”

“Of course I did,” Tuukka responded, “Bergy, we all decided that we didn’t want you to feel left out so we all chipped in to get you a little something.” Tuukka pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket, “This is for you from us.” 

Patrice took the envelope from Tuukka and opened it. It was a one-hundred-dollar gift card to his favorite restaurant, “You guys didn’t have to do this!” he exclaimed. 

“It was something we all agreed on,” Price said, “But Tuukka was the one who suggested it and picked it up.” 

“Do I still owe you dinner now?” Tuukka asked, “The reason why we wanted you to come was because we had a little something for you.” 

“I’ll have to think about it,” Patrice responded slyly, “You did make me dress up in this ridiculous outfit.” 

“It was Flower’s idea!” Tuukka exclaimed. 

“I’ll think about it,” Patrice responded. 

“I think that just about does it,” Price said, “I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.”

“Merry Christmas and good luck!”

“Have a good new year!”

The five goalies and one center bid each other a happy holidays and good luck then made their return to their respective teams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? It took forever to come up with the gag-gifts but I think they're all fitting. And you can't go wrong with a coffee mug and a Starbucks gift card. 
> 
> For those of you who don't know, the Surstromming thing is from a previous story in this series, "A Final Meeting Before the Season Starts."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna have one more chapter that I'll upload in about a week or so.


End file.
